Daily Show: Healthraiser
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Healthraiser | ||||
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Republican scare tactics filter into the real debate on health care reform, taking their toll on President Obama’s sales pitch.
Tonight Show: Shatner Reads Palin’s Tweets
Conan O’Brien has found a gold mine. He’s pulling Palin’s ramblings in different arenas at random and having William Shatner read them as poetry ala his Travelocity commercials. The other night it was her farewell speech. Last night, it was her Tweets.
It Ain’t Easy Going Green
I’m an avid reader of the Huffington Post. It’s a great clearing house for all the news that is making news in any category, whether it’s politics or entertainment or media news. I couldn’t get enough of it. Until today.
I saw a blog post by John Kerry. Normally, I wouldn’t even think of clicking on it as he nauseates me in his speeches. I figure he can’t be any less condescending in his writing. However, the blog post title caught my eye: “Who Lost the Earth?” About three paragraphs in I was still reading about Nixon and China and Kerry was just making his segway into how it all related to saving the environment when I gave up. It was then I realized I had wandered into the “Green” section of Huffington Post. It was pretty humorous. There was a story about how to take a green vacation on a European farm. If that wasn’t nauseatingly liberal enough for you there was a “must read” guide to understanding the food safety bill and a fascinating article about how vegetable gardens are “growing like gangbusters” in Seattle parking strips followed by a story about a whale who saved a diver. I’m not kidding. I thought I was reading the Onion. The funniest part was the whale story was a link from the FOX news site.
I came to one conclusion after reading this part of the Huffington Post. I may be a Republican who likes Huff Po, but I have my limits. I’m pretty sure I can’t relate to anyone who reads the Green section daily.
Tonight Show: Shatner Does Palin
Daily Show: Baracknophobia Returns
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| So You Think You Can Douche | ||||
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Sean Hannity says: “[Obama is] literally ripping apart the foundation of the America we knew and grew up in.” To which Stewart replies, “I think that’s because the America you knew and grew up in was segregated.”
Stupid-Gate
President Obama will meet tonight with the Harvard Professor, Henry Louis Gates, and the officer, Sgt. James Crowley, who got into a tousle at Gates’ house leading to Gates’ arrest. President Obama had to call for the high level talks after he said the police had acted “stupidly” in arresting Gates. I think we can all agree the only thing stupid about all of this is that it’s reached a level where the President of the United States has to hold a detente outside of the Oval Office and the one thing the media can’t wait to tell us about is what kind of beers the three men will be drinking. As if the knowledge that Gates will have Red Stripe and Crowley Blue Moon will somehow enlighten the situation and better explain the characters of the two men. The knowledge that Obama will be drinking a Budweiser does nothing other than tell us that he’s playing it safe not wanting to look like an arugula wine drinker.
I for one am glad these talks are happening. Maybe Crowley has some inside tips on how Obama can win the war in Afghanistan. Maybe Gates knows how to solve the housing crisis. Who knows what these three geniuses will come up with. We wait with bated breath.
Kelly Kapowski Doesn’t Have Enough Time for Reunion
“Time! There’s never enough time!” Remember when Jessie screamed those words at Zack after she fell asleep because she’d been taking uppers all day? (yes, really) Now it’s Kelly’s turn to say no time. No time for a reunion that is. Jimmy Fallon’s been trying to get them all to commit, and he’s only gotten Zack and Mr. Belding so far. Now Kelly chimes in with this refusal to reunite:
The good news is the case is reuniting, for the cover of People magazine.
Colbert Report: Womb Raiders
To follow up on my earlier post about the crazy birthers, here is Colbert’s withering attack on the movement and his interview with the crazy Russian leading the charge.
| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Womb Raiders – The Fight for the Truth Behind Obama’s Birth | ||||
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| The Colbert Report | Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c | |||
| Womb Raiders – Orly Taitz | ||||
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Dammit, I just lost my Citizenship!
Update: Video of Colbert’s interview with Taitz can be seen HERE.
So I’m watching Colbert tonight and he has this crazy woman on who speaks with a heavy Russian accent and she’s telling me that my President shouldn’t be President because he’s not a natural born citizen. If that’s not bizarre enough, nothing like a Russian attorney explaining the Constitution, Ms. Orly Taitz’s rationale is even crazier. Colbert says, and I’m paraphrasing, “What would it take, you idiot, to prove to you that Obama is a natural born citizen?” She says nothing short of digging his father up out of his grave and granting him citizenship will make Obama a natural born citizen. You see, Obama’s father was a citizen of Kenya. His mother was a citizen of the United States. If both of his parents aren’t natural born citizens, born here in the United States, then he’s not a natural born citizen. My God! Does anyone realize what this means?? None of our Presidents have been natural born citizens! Here’s why:
Let’s follow this through using my own family as an example. (Try to keep up, it’s complicated). My husband and I have two children. They were born in America. I was born in Washington, DC (not technically a state, but still under my original understanding of the Constitution, pre-Orly Taitz, a part of the United States) and my husband was born in California. His parents were born in the United States. His grandparents were born in the United States, but one set of his great-grandparents were born in Italy. If his great-grandparents were born in Italy that means his grandfather wasn’t a natural born citizen, not having been born to natural born citizens. He never went and sought citizenship because he mistakenly believed that having been born in the United States he was a citizen.
That means, if his grandfather never sought citizenship, his dad isn’t a natural born citizen either, not having been born to a natural born citizen. Which means that my husband isn’t a natural born citizen which means my children aren’t natural born citizens but are in fact citizens of Italy and the United States. They’re also citizens of the United Kingdom as my great great great great long ago relatives came over from England on the Mayflower.
Just think, we’re living in a country full of people who’ve never rectified the fact that they weren’t born to natural born citizens. Having never taken a citizenship test, hundreds of millions of Americans must surely now face deportation under Ms. Taitz’s theory. We now need a Mormon intervention to go back and citizenize the dead or ICE is going to be real busy trying to figure out how to ship hundreds of millions of Americans back to their native countries.
Holy Tamale! That’s an immigration problem!
Daily Show: Goodbye Sarah!
Stewart’s best line referencing Palin’s comment about attacks on her hunting wolves from airplanes where she says “Hollywood needs to know, we eat therefore we hunt!” Says Stewart: “Yeah, Hollywood, all you hypocrites at home happy to eat your frozen wolf patties without ever wondering where they come from. Well guess what f******, they’re shot from airplanes for you!”
