Top Ten Reasons Palin Resigned
Posted by dpolitico on July 5, 2009 · View Comments
In the absence of any logical reason as to why she would resign I’ve come up with my own reasons why Palin left office:
10. Needs time to practice being a hockey grandma.
9. Couldn’t get Alaska legislature to pay for her affair with a gaucho in Argentina.
8. Wants to open consignment shop selling clothes from campaign.
7. Plans to personally patrol the border with Russia looking for Putin’s head.
6. Purchased a turkey farm so she can show the slaughter of innocent turkeys live on TV each Thanksgiving.
5. Wants to devote more time to reading things, but not the New York Times.
4. Needs more time to practice playing her flute so she can stand out in Republican primary debates.
3. Hopes to personally capture Bin Laden thus beefing up her foreign policy experience.
2. Realized she needs two years to prepare for the next Katie Couric interview.
1. Took a job as head writer for the Late Show with David Letterman.
