Having been cheated on by my husband and knowing some of what Regina must be feeling, I think a public flogging can only help her feel a bit better momentarily. I’m just glad he apologized to Sarah Palin. Again.

10. Close curtains so you don’t get distracted by Russia.
9. Increase vocabulary – use words like “slanket”
8. First buy yourself 100-grand worth of writing outfits.
7. Don’t write a word until the check clears.
6. Limit yourself to one “you betcha” per chapter.
5. You can never have enough stories about ice fishing or killing things with your bare hands.
4. When in doubt, just type (wink)
3. Don’t let writing cut into attending “Fire Letterman” rallies
2. Have the book translated for sale to European countries like London.
1. “I’ll try to find ya some tips and I’ll bring ‘em to ya!”

David Letterman and the Late Show find a way to resurrect “Great Moments in Presidential Speeches” with a new segment: Teleprompter vs. No Teleprompter.

This is the new thing to use against Obama. Everyone from the AP to the GOP is bringing up the fact that Obama uses a teleprompter as a “crutch.” Of course, we’ll just ignore all those live town halls, debates, meet and greets, and interviews on network television shows that he did sans teleprompter. Obviously, the guy can’t speak for himself.

From the Huffington Post:

After avoiding marriage for more than two decades, Letterman said, “I secretly felt that men who were married admired me … like I was the last of the real gunslingers, you know what I’m saying?”

The road to the ceremony wasn’t smooth, he told the audience. He, Lasko and their son were on their way to the courthouse Thursday when their pickup truck got stuck in the mud.

“So now we think, `Well, somebody’ll come.’ No, nobody comes along. Nobody comes along _ it’s Thursday afternoon; who’s coming along? Zorro? No, nobody. So I get out of the truck and I walk 2 miles back to the house into a 50-mile-an-hour wind,” Letterman said.

“It’s not Beverly Hills, it’s Montana, for God’s sakes. And the whole way, I’m thinking, ‘See, smart ass, see, see, you try to get married, this is what happens,’” he said.

When he returned, Letterman said, Harry asked if they were still going to town and was assured they were.

“And he gets very upset because mom had told him if I wasn’t back in an hour, the deal was off,” Letterman said.

Jon Stewart and David Letterman discuss whose to blame for the bad economy.

Video: From the folks at Indecision.

The Edge gets off the best line of the night, substituting his own ad-lib for the Late Show writers version of Number 5.

U2 performs “I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight”

U2 performed “Breathe” on their first night of their week long appearance on the David Letterman show. They also chipped in and helped shovel some of New York’s snow. Well, at least three of the band did. Letterman got a kick out of Larry Mullen just standing there smoking and not shoveling. So much so that at the end of their performance Letterman shook Mullen’s hand and said, “Nice job shoveling.”

From Huffington Post:

Letterman starts off, asking Couric:

“What about this bonehead Rush Limbaugh? Honest to God, I mean, what is going on there?
He gets up in Washington and he’s the keynote speaker at some function and he comes up and he looks like an East European gangster. He’s got the black jacket on, the black silk shirt and it’s unbuttoned like, oh yeah, when you think Rush Limbaugh, you think, ‘Ooh, let’s see a little flesh.’ Honestly. What is he doing?”

Couric doubles over and laughs, saying “although I’m thrown by the Rush Limbaugh flesh in the same sentence… it’s indicative of the power vacuum in the Republican party right now and he’s filling it right now.”

Letterman continues:

“We get used to Republicans like Newt Gingrich and Newt… resembled a Newt… but a smart guy. And now all of a sudden you get Rush Limbaugh… “I’m sorry the casino’s closed”… What? Leave us alone, my God!

Couric laughs, adding, “So much for my interview with Rush.”