Daily Show: After learning the customs of Hanukkah, John Oliver plays Santa and hands out presents to Jewish children before they kill themselves.
Jon Stewart: Is 30,000 troops the military equivalent of Advil?
Stewart: It was an amendment proposed by Democratic Michigan Congressman Bart “I’m With” Stupak banning any new government health plan from paying for a certain, completely legal, constitutionally protected medical procedure. Take a guess which one? I’m going to write down my guess: gall bladder and gall bladder related issues.
After Congressman says it is wrong to use tax payers money for a procedure they find morally wrong, Stewart says: Paying taxes is like going to the zoo. Admission’s 20 bucks. You can’t walk in and go, “Here’s $18.50, I don’t like zebras.”
Stewart on the White House saying they’re going to speak “truth to power”: What the f***? Truth to power? You’re the White House. You’re the power. Here’s how it goes in the truth to power statement: It’s your job to f*** up power. It’s FOX’s job to f*** up truth.
Admitting to this is like admitting that at one time in my life I would only eat steak if it was covered in Velveeta. Yes, I am a Midwestern girl who grew up a Republican. However, after watching this video from the Daily Show, I can now say with no regret, that I am no longer a member of the Republican party. As I now realize that steak is better without Velveeta, I now realize that my Grand Old Republican party will never return and has been completely hijacked by idiots.
Daily Show: The RNC’s new website features an American flag with hydraulics and Michael Steele’s blog, “What Up.”
Daily Show: Glenn Beck has to decide how much he trusts his government before getting the swine flu vaccine.
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