Letterman Apologizes to His Wife
Having been cheated on by my husband and knowing some of what Regina must be feeling, I think a public flogging can only help her feel a bit better momentarily. I’m just glad he apologized to Sarah Palin. Again.
Letterman: Palin’s Top Ten Writing Tips
10. Close curtains so you don’t get distracted by Russia.
9. Increase vocabulary – use words like “slanket”
8. First buy yourself 100-grand worth of writing outfits.
7. Don’t write a word until the check clears.
6. Limit yourself to one “you betcha” per chapter.
5. You can never have enough stories about ice fishing or killing things with your bare hands.
4. When in doubt, just type (wink)
3. Don’t let writing cut into attending “Fire Letterman” rallies
2. Have the book translated for sale to European countries like London.
1. “I’ll try to find ya some tips and I’ll bring ‘em to ya!”
Top Ten Reasons Palin Resigned
In the absence of any logical reason as to why she would resign I’ve come up with my own reasons why Palin left office:
10. Needs time to practice being a hockey grandma.
9. Couldn’t get Alaska legislature to pay for her affair with a gaucho in Argentina.
8. Wants to open consignment shop selling clothes from campaign.
7. Plans to personally patrol the border with Russia looking for Putin’s head.
6. Purchased a turkey farm so she can show the slaughter of innocent turkeys live on TV each Thanksgiving.
5. Wants to devote more time to reading things, but not the New York Times.
4. Needs more time to practice playing her flute so she can stand out in Republican primary debates.
3. Hopes to personally capture Bin Laden thus beefing up her foreign policy experience.
2. Realized she needs two years to prepare for the next Katie Couric interview.
1. Took a job as head writer for the Late Show with David Letterman.
Letterman: Teleprompter vs. No Teleprompter
David Letterman and the Late Show find a way to resurrect “Great Moments in Presidential Speeches” with a new segment: Teleprompter vs. No Teleprompter.
This is the new thing to use against Obama. Everyone from the AP to the GOP is bringing up the fact that Obama uses a teleprompter as a “crutch.” Of course, we’ll just ignore all those live town halls, debates, meet and greets, and interviews on network television shows that he did sans teleprompter. Obviously, the guy can’t speak for himself.
Jon Stewart on Letterman
Jon Stewart and David Letterman discuss whose to blame for the bad economy.
Video: From the folks at Indecision.
U2 Does Top Ten on Letterman
The Edge gets off the best line of the night, substituting his own ad-lib for the Late Show writers version of Number 5.
U2 on Letterman – Night Three
U2 performs “I’ll Go Crazy if I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight”
U2 on Letterman – Night Two
U2 plays “Magnificent” on their second night of the week long Letterman appearance.
U2 on Letterman – Night One – Breathe
U2 performed “Breathe” on their first night of their week long appearance on the David Letterman show. They also chipped in and helped shovel some of New York’s snow. Well, at least three of the band did. Letterman got a kick out of Larry Mullen just standing there smoking and not shoveling. So much so that at the end of their performance Letterman shook Mullen’s hand and said, “Nice job shoveling.”
