Palin: Leader of the Intellect Gap
I am becoming more and more disturbed by the idea that Sarah Palin is leading a rogue group of non-intellectuals, one of whom will take it upon himself to do something terrible. I thought for a long time that George W. Bush was the king of the non-intellectuals. However, he went to Yale and Harvard. He is decidedly more intellectual than Sarah Palin. I believe he would easily win a debate between the two. Not that it wouldn’t be entertaining. Especially if you threw Dan Rather in there as the moderator. Classic.
I digress. The point is this: power in the hands of an idiot is dangerous. There is no bigger idiot than Sarah Palin because she truly does not think beyond what she is saying. If she had any comprehension of the larger world she would’ve known what the Bush Doctrine was and would not have pointed to her backyard to indicate she was aware Russia existed.
The point is Sarah Palin doesn’t think beyond Palinland and the Palindrones out there do. In their non-intellectual minds, they hear what she’s saying: “target” the Dems, he’s palling around with terrorists, let’s “take back” our country. (By the way, why does she get to “take back” the country? It’s my country, too and I like it just the way it is so leave it the f*** alone!) They hear it and they see it as a call to action and they think it means they’re supposed to go out into the world and affect change in any way possible. So they end up shooting people at the Pentagon. They end up plotting to kill police officers. They end up murdering abortion doctors. They fly planes into IRS buildings.
And all the while, the only thought that goes through Sarah Palin’s head is, “Where is my next speaking engagement?” and “what should I write on my hand this time?” She is like a hand gun without a safety, laying around for a child to find. Someone in the Republican party ought to try taking her on. They ought to try and be the voice of integrity. They ought to try and be intelligent leaders rather than reactionary stooges.
The fact that you’re a Republican, the fact that you don’t like big government, the fact that you don’t like taxes and don’t want government run health care doesn’t make you a non-intellectual. Listening to Sarah Palin, and believing she’s who you should pay attention to, does.
Palin: GOP the Party of “Hell No.”
Sarah Palin has decided that the Republicans should be glad to call themselves the party of “Hell No!” If she had hit on this idea earlier (which she stole from Boehner’s closing health care speech which he delivered far better than Palin has ever given a speech) maybe she could have used it during the Presidential campaign. Then we would’ve had competing rallies with one group yelling, “Yes we can!” and the other “Hell No!” Quite a beautiful sentiment she has decided to express. Fits right up there with her use of crosshairs to “target” Democrats she doesn’t like.
Palin, as always, has demonstrated her remarkable ability to succinctly express what the “common folk” are feeling and it scares the bejeezus out of me. John McCain, a military man, stood next to her during this bizarre rally in which the former Presidential candidate had to call upon his Vice Presidential nominee to save his campaign in Arizona. As I looked at these two lunatics I wondered what the Republican forefathers would think of their idiocy and the appalling behavior of the tea party activists. I turned to Eisenhower for some guidance. Speaking of communism and the communist witch hunt in America Eisenhower said:
Because disloyalty is an offense of the most profound import, we must be especially careful to avoid hurling the charge of communist against any who may merely disagree with us. Respect for our own free system requires that we speak and act against others with restraint until factual evidence establishes guilt.
Speak and act with restraint. Reason. Calm. Thoughtfulness. Intelligence. Or how about Eisenhower speaking on the duty of the Republican party:
The reason I believe in the Republican Party is because I believe it is the best political instrument available in this country to serve the United States in this kind of objective: for making certain that every individual American, whatever his station, will recognize that he has the opportunity of a free citizen, to make for himself what he can, and he will have a sympathetic partner-a big-brother partner, in the Federal Government; and that this Nation will persist in the kind of nation that was designed by our forefathers and in which it is now our great privilege to live.
A “big brother partner”. Aren’t those “fighting words” under Team Palin and the Tea Partiers? I hope that some day the GOP returns to its senses. Otherwise, this will be the lasting legacy, and it’s more reminiscent of Idiocracy than it is of the kind of noble statesmanship exhibited by all of Palin’s Republican forebears:
Palin v. Shatner
As Conan says, “Good to finally see those two together.”
Palin’s Book Goes Rogue
Letterman: Palin’s Top Ten Writing Tips
10. Close curtains so you don’t get distracted by Russia.
9. Increase vocabulary – use words like “slanket”
8. First buy yourself 100-grand worth of writing outfits.
7. Don’t write a word until the check clears.
6. Limit yourself to one “you betcha” per chapter.
5. You can never have enough stories about ice fishing or killing things with your bare hands.
4. When in doubt, just type (wink)
3. Don’t let writing cut into attending “Fire Letterman” rallies
2. Have the book translated for sale to European countries like London.
1. “I’ll try to find ya some tips and I’ll bring ‘em to ya!”
Tonight Show: Shatner Reads Palin’s Tweets
Conan O’Brien has found a gold mine. He’s pulling Palin’s ramblings in different arenas at random and having William Shatner read them as poetry ala his Travelocity commercials. The other night it was her farewell speech. Last night, it was her Tweets.
Tonight Show: Shatner Does Palin
Daily Show: Goodbye Sarah!
Stewart’s best line referencing Palin’s comment about attacks on her hunting wolves from airplanes where she says “Hollywood needs to know, we eat therefore we hunt!” Says Stewart: “Yeah, Hollywood, all you hypocrites at home happy to eat your frozen wolf patties without ever wondering where they come from. Well guess what f******, they’re shot from airplanes for you!”
Top Ten Reasons Palin Resigned
In the absence of any logical reason as to why she would resign I’ve come up with my own reasons why Palin left office:
10. Needs time to practice being a hockey grandma.
9. Couldn’t get Alaska legislature to pay for her affair with a gaucho in Argentina.
8. Wants to open consignment shop selling clothes from campaign.
7. Plans to personally patrol the border with Russia looking for Putin’s head.
6. Purchased a turkey farm so she can show the slaughter of innocent turkeys live on TV each Thanksgiving.
5. Wants to devote more time to reading things, but not the New York Times.
4. Needs more time to practice playing her flute so she can stand out in Republican primary debates.
3. Hopes to personally capture Bin Laden thus beefing up her foreign policy experience.
2. Realized she needs two years to prepare for the next Katie Couric interview.
1. Took a job as head writer for the Late Show with David Letterman.
Where was Palin? Russian Bombers Invade Canada
Sarah Palin has failed her first foreign policy test post-election. Two Russian bombers were intercepted near Canadian air space (after presumably flying near Alaska), no thanks to Palin. It took NORAD, of all people, to actually handle the international crisis that came just one day before President Obama’s visit to Canada. From CNN:
“As has been done on previous occasions, (Canadian pilots) sent very clear signals that are understood, that (the) aircraft was to turn around, turn tail and head back to its own air space, which it did,” MacKay said.
I wonder if Palin knows any “clear signals” to send to Russian bombers the next time they come within 120 miles of her state. Or, maybe she just couldn’t see them. Or, maybe she saw them and decided to let them fly by and cause problems for President Obama. I’d ask her, but I don’t want to hear the “I can see Russia” whine one more time.
